Qualifications for Overseers
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife…1Timothy 3:2a.
For years I have wanted to write that a pastor’s wife is not a First lady, she is basically her husband’s wife and a member of the church.
The word of God said, “one wife” not first lady. Who exactly is a pastor’s wife and what should she be called? The pastor’s wife is a servant’s wife and is definitely not a first lady. I really believe it is a power thing and comes from tradition. If it is not Biblical, then we don’t need it in the church.
About 11 years ago, a woman visited our church and would call me the first lady. It made me so uncomfortable so I kept reminding her that Laura Bush is the first lady and not I. Last week a gentleman called for Steve, and when he found out that I was the wife, his reaction, “ So you are the First Lady” I was so irritated. Also there is this ridiculous show on TV about First Ladies of the church, and it is the most embarrassing show. What a poor portrayal of women who supposedly are pastor’s wives. The Scripture says, “For God shows no partiality” Romans 2:11, so why is a pastor’s wife put on a pedestal, it is not Biblical and God doesn’t honor it.
My point is, the Bible only tells us the position that a Pastor holds, not his wife.
The most important ministry for a pastor’s wife is to be her husband’s cheer leader, be his support, pray for him constantly and keep the house a HOME because that is where he should feel safe and have time away from his busy schedule. If she has children, then that is her second ministry after her husband. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior Now as the church submits to the Christ, so also the wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Ephesians 5:22-24; nothing is said that the wife is the “First Lady”
As pastor’s wives, we are never called to pastor alongside our husbands. Through marriage we are yoked together so we are a team. I see it this way, even if I was not married to a pastor, I would be in ministry because of the calling God has placed in my life, a passion to teach women the Bible, and to serve where ever he need me in the body of Christ. Many of us have different gifts, some of us are called to head up Women’s Ministry and out of it flow many different responsibilities; some of us are called to teach Bible Studies, to play an instrument, sing, greet, teach Sunday School or work in the nursery. As we serve, it is under the authority of the leadership in the church. As pastor’s wives, we don’t make our own rules because we have to submit to the authority in the church. Some pastor’s wives don’t believe that they are called to serve outside the home.
Pastor’s wives don’t know everything. Some of them have a hunger to be mentored or even have fellowship with others. We are not celebrities and should not strive for status. We just want to be loved and be friends with all. As pastor’s wives our attitude can either make or break our husband’s ministry. Our behavior affects the body of Christ just as another believer’s behavior. Just like you, we sin, our thought process sometimes could be unhealthy, and we may have nasty attitudes. We have arguments with our husbands and sometimes may yell at our kids. People annoy us just as they annoy you. We are no more special than you are, God saved us by his grace, and not one of us deserve salvation, so may we forever be grateful and humble for the gift of salvation.
There are some pastor’s wives who truly believe they run the church with the pastor and elders or deacons, that is the pastor’s problem because he can’ t control his wife. She may not call herself the first lady but she is in control. This is the kind of wife that destroys her husband’s ministry, so pray for her if she is in your church.
It is very dangerous when a pastor and his wife draw a line between them and the congregation, that is not Biblical and grieves the heart of God. Jesus never separated himself from anyone and he came to serve not to be served. Our churches should NOT have a CEO, PRESIDENT or a FIRST LADY or FIRST LADY as CO PASTOR—–NOT BIBLICAL.
I am not a first lady! I am my husband’s wife. So as a woman who has a heart for God, I serve God and the body of Christ as long as the Lord allows me to. My prayer is that the Lord will keep us real and humble at all times. Apart from him, we can’t do anything!
Friends, always remember if it is not lining up with Scriptures, we should have nothing to do with it because GOD IS NOT HONORING IT. Keep it real for the Lord!
Author copy rite this article. Please feel free to forward to family and friends.